Defining Self-Care
In the 90s, “New Age” was the term for individuals who were pursuing spiritual awakening, inner peace, a zen life, etc.
Welcome to 2020 in the USA and a capitalistic society. Leave it to us millennials to repackage “New Age” into Health, Wellness, and Self-Care. In this materialistic society, the #selfcare movement is the same as #treatyourself
ME: “YASS! TREAT MY DAMN SELF!”
- new multiple winter Colombia jackets (it’s okay, it’s from Ross!)
- daily Target shopping (it’s okay it’s on clearance)
- 15 new books (it’s okay: they’re used!)
-$500 on new winter “work” clothes
I was spending minimum $1000 a month on new clothes and frivolous items.
Hindsight: that shit was ridiculous.
Once I started working 60+ hours a week, I didn’t have time to go to Target anymore.
Before COVID-19, I had time to run through the car wash, gym for an hour, shower, sporadic shopping trips to Barnes and Noble, Target, thrift stores, then sleep.
Now with COVID-19, the gym is closed and Target is out of the question. The only places I go now is the grocery store and the car wash.
This new lifestyle change narrowed my options. Having too many options really distracted me from my true desires and needs.
My new schedule:
CARWASH, GAS STATION, AND WALKS/RUNS OUTSIDE
I slowly moved away from self-soothing/ material distractions. I was never big on online shopping because of the amount of carbon for shipping, wasteful packaging, and didn’t have my own prime account. Call me old fashion, I still enjoy walking around in a store and holding the product. The brick and mortar stores cut out the middle person and feel less wasteful.
However, THANKS to my new crazy work schedule and lifestyle. I had to adjust my lifestyle to fit with my values and priorities: stop numbing with shopping, save money, make my own healthy food to properly nourish my body, and seriously focus and continue to physically improve my health.
My version self-care:
- Minimum of 8 hours of sleep every night
- Lacrosse ball massages while driving
- Yoga stretches before bed
- Practicing vegetarian recipes
- Writing. (in my planner, journal, or notes on my phone)
- Audiobooks, Oprah podcasts, Brene Brown podcasts
- Financial Wellness by tracking my spending & telling my money where to go instead of wondering where it went.
The overly ambitious side of my brain thinks that list is too simplistic and underachieving. Realistically, I can’t even do these every.single.day. I am realizing that this is more than enough for right now.
There are days when I may get 3 from that list. Financial literacy was the first habit I practiced. After 4 months of reading, research, and building, I’ve managed to save more than I’ve ever imagined. Paying bills, smashing student debt, and watching the savings account grow like a Scrooge McDuck are now second nature.
SLEEPING, EATING, AND PHYSICAL MOVEMENT
The main focus is now my body.
I downplay it as a “weirdo” habit, but I genuinely need 8 hrs/night of sleep.
10 would be ideal. 7-6 is pushing it. I have incorporated that into my schedule.
It’s a non-negotiable now. Meaning, it’s something I schedule and prioritize.
I will not let just any random thing convince me to not hold myself accountable to this.
Eating - I am now focused on plant-based eating. Most people understand it better when I say that I’m 90% vegetarian. I still go home and eat my family’s delicious food.
Family is usually the hardest to accept any changes I make. Slowly, but surely they’ll come around. Making this decision has been a long time coming. I’ve always rather eat chicken than red meats. Dont get it twisted, I still ate delicious wagyu beef, Vietnamese pork dishes, and seafood (crawfish, oysters, and lobster). However, when I did live alone…I cooked more beans and vegetables. I can afford to buy organic items, bougie tofu slices, honeycrisp apples, brussel sprouts, etc…. The extreme coupon in me still wishes for a coupon. I worked hard to get where I am. I never have to eat a gala apple ever again.
Physical Movement - Since November, I developed a habit of going to the gym. February was when it was no longer a struggle to get into the gym because of self-sabotage. I was going consistently and actually enjoyed it. My body felt so damn good after the gym. The soreness, strength training, and running brought me back into my own body. I no longer felt that disconnect between my body and myself. THEN COVID19. Gym was closed. I forced myself to not think. After work, directly change my clothes and start walking. No need to run. JUST GO! After a few times, I stopped overthinking and build that need and desire to go for a run. I am in competition with myself. I did 6 miles in two hours!
(mostly walking) I did give in and bought “booty bands” (resistance bands) for leg workouts. I do hope the gyms open soon because I am a compartmentalizer. I’m not the type to workout at home. Gyms and yoga studios are for physical exertion. Home is for rest and relaxation.
“Consistently building a routine with those basic self-care practices will provide you with the stability you need to do my work in the larger world.”
MENTAL WELLNESS
BOOKS, AUDIOBOOKS, & PODCASTS
I NEED mental stimulation. I also have this incessant desire for personal growth. Listening to audiobooks and podcasts keeps me thinking on a philosophical level. My commute is 2 hours everyday. Adapting to this new work lifestyle, I’ve come to love audiobooks, podcasts, and rolling the lacrosse ball on my back while I drive.
2020 I started to track books, audiobooks, and podcast consumption.
I’ve read/ listen to more books than I realized. Previously I read non-fiction books exclusively. I have two dear friends who read like 30+ books a year.
(surround yourself with people who will lift you higher) I was like HOW TF y’all reading so many books in a year….they read fiction. I am still learning which genre of fiction I enjoy because most were unimpressive. (almost feels like a waste of time) However, I am still working on it because the stories are still an easy read to decompress. Investment books, personal growth, self realization and empowerment are books that take me a longer time to process and I thoroughly enjoy it.
Audiobooks during the morning commute is like having someone tell me a story in the morning. It’s a gentle way to wake me up and center myself before the work day takes over my life.
Podcasts have more nuanced topics.
Oprah’s 2020 Vision Tour with Michelle Obama, JLO, Lady GaGa, and Tracey Ellis Ross.
Brene Brown: Unlocking Us
Sophia Bush: Working Progress
Female empowerment and uplifting voices has emboldened my confidence to own my needs, set my boundaries, and use my voice. It helps me stay connected to the topics I truly care about. Oprah’s interviews with powerful women reassured me that insecurities do not evade the famous. The lessons they talk about Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast helped me understand and process the Black Lives Matter and Me Too movement with her interview with Tarana Burke. Sophia Bush’s interview with Dr. Ayana Elizabeth Johnson about the intersection of climate, justice, science, and culture.
WRITING: JOURNALS & PLANNERS
I am an over thinker. Writing helps me sift through my thoughts and drastically reduces ruminating thoughts. I’ve been writing/journaling/ documenting since like 3rd grade. It’s shows me how far I’ve come, what I really want, and where I plan to go. I’m also notorious for compartmentalizing (not just my feelings). In 2020, I used 7 different planners and journals to keep track of: workouts, finances, thoughts, goals, work to do list, etc. I plan to continue this because it kept me focused and easily aligned my goals. I achieved more than I realized and journaling/ planning helped me see that, especially because I have incessant thoughts that I am not ever doing enough.
NEXT MOVES
I am playing with the idea of going back to all the unpublished photos and videos from my travels since 2012. Not sure if a lot of the travel information would be accurate, but I would love to write about the experience rather than advice on what to do. However, I am getting more and more suspicious of the information we freely put on the internet. Kinda scary like that book/movie “YOU” with that guy stalking a girl and tricking her into being with him.
Either way, I still enjoy writing. It will be a mix of life, personal growth, and how travel has helped me discover who I really am after shedding the generational traumas and social stigmas.
